Look Out, World! Here Comes The New Heroine!

Look out world! Here comes your new hero, or should I say heroine. More specifically, I am a romantic/gothic heroine. No, that does not mean I like to wear black! It is a figure of speech, saying that I am the type of heroine/lover with a dark side! I consider myself as a lover as well as a heroine because I adore romance, and I am a heroine. Why do I feel as if I have an inner dark side? Well, to begin, I am a typically happy person, yet I sometimes I can become very depressed. I tend to think of things much deeper than I should. On the contrary, do not let that destroy my reputation as a heroine. I am a very courageous person and, as you will see in my other posts, I will work very hard to achieve something.

I am a very creative heroine. I love to draw, and am currently working on a comic book. I like to sing, but mainly in the shower. As a very exotic heroine, I love learning about different parts of Asia, mostly China, Korea, and Japan. I also love being with my friends. If I were to best illistrate myself, I would see myself as a bird. I am exotic and free spirited. I am always dreaming of spreading my wings and flying out into the clear blue sky, even though I am often caged in.

Quest For The Best!

My quest is an epic journey to find the promised land. My promised land is, of course, my goal; to become a good pediatrician. The quest I am on achieve my ultimate longterm goals. The promised land is the achievement itself. My personal quest is for identity. You see, I am still searching for the "Candice" inside. I want to know what kind of person I am. I want to know what other people see and what I see in myself.

I have chosen to take up being a pediatrician as my career. I have studied to find out what it takes, and I have tried to prepare myself as much as possible. This is a journey that will last many years. I must consider a good school, other options, and the hard work I will have to go through during my preparations. There will be many obstacles that will stand in my way. This journey is like the ocean. Now that I have dived in, I will either sink or swim.

I am also seaching for myself. I have made it a personal quest to find what lies underneath the hollow shell of Candice Allen. I want to be sure that I am as strong as I presume to be. I also want to see if I still have that same fear that has driven into me for so long. I know certain facts about myself, but I want to prove them true. The experiences of life and everday events can help me show my true colors. One may refer to this quest as walking on a foggy path. I can not see where I am going, so anything may come out. Obstacles may be hidden deep within that fog, or right in front of me. The path is life as I walk along it, developing, growing, and ,hopefully, leaving behind footprints.

The Mentor- My Loving Mother

I feel it is best to say that the person who best fits as the mentor in my life is my mother. She has and will always be there for me. As a child, she has blessed me with the gift of a loving personality and intelligence. She has always taught me the morals and values that I continue hold dear to this day. When I would lie about getting a bad grade or hurting my little brother, she would punish me. I see now that those punishments were for my own good and have made me a better person. She is like a guardian angel. She is always there to watch over me and keep me safe. Whenever I stray from my path and do something wrong, she is always there to guide me back to the right place. When I was in elementary school, I had issues with my "friends." When I was worried and unsure, she was there to straighten things out. She listened to the problem and did her best to help fix it. I know that she will continue to aid in my journey in this life and the next.

The Sanctuary of Learing (My Threshold Guardian)

As a hard working student, I need school in order to test and challenge me. Without this system of learning, I would not have developed academically. Also, I have also become socially stronger. Dealing with constant bullies has helped me become stronger as a child. Being with friends, and figuring out what people like positively developed my self-esteem. I have also tooken many different physical education classes and learned how to care for my body. To better illustrate, school is like a storm. It is difficult to deal with, but with the proper gear, one is prepared. In the end, once you have endured, a rainbow appears. School has brought out many good things but has also bestowed many challenges. TAKS, difficult courses, and strict teachers continuously test my knowledge and endurance. It is this kind of obstacle that will help me in the long run.

Paranoia- My Constant Shadow

As the hero, or in my case, heroine, my endless journey is constantly threatened by outside forces. My force, my endless shadow, is paranoia. The feeling itself locks within the hidden corners of one's mind, lurking, waiting until the time is right to rear its ugly head. Paranoia is hard to deal with for me, just as it is for anyone else. It has been a very worthy opponent against my journey. I tend to worry a lot which in turn evolves into paranoia. It can prove very effective if I ever began to dream of accomplishing my goals. If I see too many obstacles, this may cause me to give up. Paranoia is like a tornado. If it becomes strong enough, it can demolish my structure of dreams. Fortuneately, if I can create a strong enough foundation, this storm should not effect me. I plan to look at things more positively, and with the help of those around me I can acquire the encouragement I need in order to overcome it.

The Comedy Genius

During the hero's long journey, some comic relief is always useful. I can always count on my good friend, Maelene, to lighten things up. She is the most hilarious student at Horn highschool. No matter what situation she is in, she makes everything seem so postive. When I was going through an acedemic slump (bad grades) I could never stay depressed for long. As long as she was there to make me laugh, things were always easier.

My Unhealed Wound

Even though the hero may seem valient and courageous, they may have an inner emotional wound. This wound could have sparked their journey or even give them the strength to go through with it. My emotional scar has to do with issues within my very own family. As a baby, my biological father left my mother when she had me. They are no longer together. Soon, my mother remarried to another man, who was my little brother's biological father. I grew up with him, but marital problems drove them apart. Today, I have a wonderful stepfather. He became the true father we never had. I am thankful that he has come into our lives, and replaced the men who were currently there. Unfortuneately, these events still cripple parts of my heart to this day, but they make me stronger.